It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
