I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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