My friends, they love my intelligence
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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