I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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