Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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