I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
