So drunk, too bad you don't want this
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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