ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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