Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
