My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
