hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
