Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize