I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back