I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
