No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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