I love black thongs
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
