Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This baby is an asshole
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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