ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
