i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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