your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
