I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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