You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
