i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
