omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
