So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said her name was "party"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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