I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
