I didn't shave. On purpose
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
