When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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