Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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