Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
