Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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