this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
a search helicopter?!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
