tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
