The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize