Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
