the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Less talking, more tequila
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
