Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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