I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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