why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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