So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize