I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
