They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have post one night stand depression
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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