have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
