im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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