hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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