we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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