As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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