He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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