you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
