why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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