I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
