Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
