Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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