Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just want nice things and good sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
