I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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