Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.