dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick