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i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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