Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.