Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
