The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
